THE PEN & PALETTE CLUB, NEWCASTLE-UPON-TYNE
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Noel Burton-Roberts on  “Ludi Linguae. Fun and games with language” Pandon Room, Civic Centre​, Evening on Tuesday 13 November 2018

11/29/2018

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Peter Wallace's toast to the 103rd Tyneside Irish Brigade
Norma Hickey taking wine with the tuppenny end
Noel Burton-Roberts
Mavis Yorke, Chair of tuppenny end
Pen & Palette President with principal guest Noel Burton-Roberts
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Them Old Age Blues

11/15/2018

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By Malcolm Yorke

Getting’ thin on the top and wide at the bottom

Aches and pains well Lawd I got ‘em
Names go missin’ in the attic o’ my brains
Could knit you a sweater from my varicose veins
Oh this old age is slowly killin’ me

Now life’s a blur without my specs
Clean forgotten what they mean by ‘sex’
Tuckered out, and in bed by nine
With hot water bottle and my Oval-tine
Yup this old age is slowly killin’ me

Kids are sniffy ‘bout my body hygiene
They doused my pants in gasoline
Cold in my head and chill in my bones
Cain’t hear what’s said on them new phones
Sure this old age is slowly killin’ me

Doctor’s orders not to touch any liquor
My liver’s shot and I’ve a dicky ticker
Teeth in a glass, belly in a truss
Travel’s free but cain’t climb on the bus
Well this old age is slowly killin’ me

Grinds in my hips, creaks in my knees
Half up the stairs I stop for a wheeze
All-a my meals now gotta be tinned
So I cause social gaffes by breaking wind
Darn this old age is slowly killin’ me

Boils on my arse, corns on my feet
Plenty of food I’d better not eat
Got me piles, and I don’t mean money
Bladder sprung a leak and that ain’t funny
Jeez this old age is slowly killin’ me

Kids are all flown over the hill
But keep on ‘phonin’ about my will
Guess I’ll be missin’ from the family brawl
When they find I’ve left ‘em bugger all’
‘Fraid this old age is slowly ki…..

Malcolm Yorke 2018
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